So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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