I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
