Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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