I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
