we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
