once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
