I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
