So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
