i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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