I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
