My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
