Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
COCAINE IS GR8
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
