your room smells of hookers.
And success
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
