remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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