i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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