ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
