I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
