well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
