i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
