OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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