Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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