i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
