To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Drake has all the answers
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
