i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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