Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
