end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
