I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
