How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
