Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
