Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
