ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
