I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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