i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
