Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
