I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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