She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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