The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
