I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
