yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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