I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
