After last night, I could never be a politician.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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