He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
