I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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