I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
