I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
