PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
