fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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