Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
