How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
