Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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