i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
