sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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