idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
