I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize