Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
