I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
