Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Screwed.edu
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
