What a fucking waste of an outfit
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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